Here we are late in the year 2022, and after many decades, still plagued by one of the worst dilemmas of the seemingly unsolvable question of sex education. Parents’ controversial posts ask, “Do we need it? Who should be responsible for it? Is it working?” Just what is the story anyway?
This battle has been waging since the sixties—for some of us—well before our time. It is nothing new and it is still rumbling on causing the same division and controversy. The issue of sex education is literally a powder keg as the moral and ethical overtones run powerful and deep. Perhaps, it should be of no surprise, but what a surprise when you read people’s posts and realize how rigidly and emotionally polarized their opinions are! It seems plenty of adults approve of schools giving courses in sex education and libraries housing explicit material for the kiddos to “check out.” Yet, despite so many decades of accepting and expanding sex education through these means, STD’s and delinquent sex among unmarried young people continues to soar! Why? What is happening?
It seems the majority champion the sexual landscape of our world, but for others, we have continued to witness a plunge in public morality unparalleled in modern times. One can’t help, but compare it with the degenerate and declining last days of Sodom and Gomorrah (Gen. 19:1-29). And the comparison is accurate. Marriages are dissolved as fast as they are contracted. Infidelity is commonplace. Illegitimate births are ordinary. Not only colleges but also many high schools answer these issues with more open guidelines and free contraceptives. Apparently, this higher intellectual thinking is, that if you can't legislate morality, then at least put a "wrap" on the consequences of sexual promiscuity! Incredible! Yet, venereal disease is out of control—it’s an epidemic on a global scale! What are the answers—wonder drugs?
Let's not kid ourselves. Not very long ago most would have argued with great reaction against public sex education, but today through desensitization, that argument seems ridiculous and lonely. No matter what your religious persuasion, moral convictions, or ideology, there really is no choice any longer. In a sense, the argument is almost a moot point. Our children are inundated with sex every day via television, movies, the internet, and their peers. Like it or not, we live in an age of constant sex education—day in and day out! And this daily torrent of sexually explicit material—through advertising and entertainment—is having a devastating educational impact—perhaps, far greater than most of us realize or care to admit. How does one escape short of being stranded alone on a deserted island? It is virtually impossible to isolate our children and teenagers from society’s fixation on sex. The question is no longer whether we should have sex education; that is answered. The real question is how best to mitigate the sexual propaganda of society. What we urgently need is a counter-sex education program, in a sense—a program that will insure the balance, morality, and wholesomeness of our children's concepts of sex and sexuality.
Truthfully, the naïve public has been sold a “bill of goods” that sex education in the schools would give youth the knowledge and essential facts to make wise decisions regarding sexual behavior. Well, it’s 2022 and it hasn’t happened yet. What then is wrong? Why are matters worse?
Is it possible, that schools are not subject matter experts, after all? Maybe it's time to admit that the schools are incapable of doing an effective job of changing attitudes toward sex. Maybe it's time we wake up to what we should have known in the first place, that responsible sexual behavior does not result from lectures, picture books, training films, and easygoing adolescent self-help groups. All systems have been straining under two completely false pretenses: one, that sex facts will change sex attitudes; and two, that children form lifelong sexuality during their school years. The dismal results prove these facts. Knowledge for the sake of knowledge is not enough. Having knowledge regarding human anatomy, reproductive processes and VD’s will not guarantee responsible sexual behavior. Yet, parents have come to expect it. Sex facts are fine and well, but one cannot fully comprehend sex in its fullest meaning through a school curriculum like math and science. Sex is more than a mere activity we engage in and facts about genitals, drives, and techniques. Sex is about the total person, the complete qualities of being male and female. The bottom line, sex information taught apart from sound moral values cannot be expected to instill healthy sexual attitudes in young people. While knowledge about sex is important, it is effective only as it overlays an earlier foundation of right character. The concept of "proper sexual attitudes" is based upon right moral standards and values, not merely "head knowledge." The sad commentary is that the public schools have only "head knowledge" to teach. They are totally unwilling to teach right and absolute moral values. Why? First, because the law excuses them from the responsibility of propagating moral responsibility; and second, because the educational institution itself has embraced the philosophy of moral relativism, which recognizes no absolute standards.
The missing ingredient to proper and successful sex education is character training! Without a foundation of sound character, all the sex facts in the world will not produce the self-discipline needed for responsible sexual behavior. Character must come first! That is the explanation for the futility of school sex education. To provide youths with sex knowledge before they have the character to correctly apply that information is putting the cart before the horse. Somehow, we keep falling into the same hole. When will we learn? Our knowledge overtakes character development and disaster is the result. Sure, dynamite has potential for good, but not without the right character to apply that good. And it’s still the same with sex education today, it is like giving a child dynamite. This indispensable and crucial foundation of sound character cannot be built in schools, it must begin in the security, love, and concern of a happy family relationship. That is right parents, the responsibility is yours and not some book or school class. Tragically, we deep down know this, but somewhere we got off track. Why have parents allowed themselves to be duped into believing the schools could do a better job than they? As parents, we must step up to the plate and reassert our influence on character training for our children, which includes sex education.
Our kids are not to blame for the moral decadence of our society—they didn’t make it this way—adults did! They are the victims, not the guilty. They are learners, not the teachers. Every influence that has whittled away at our foundational standards is directed by adults. Even many churches have radically liberalized their views regarding matters of sex education. We are all surrounded by many forces at work trying to undermine our morals and influence our youth, they are all controlled by adults! So, let’s be honest about the problem and realize to help the young we must start by cleaning up the old.
What can parents do? There are many practical sex education principles we can learn to apply: understand that early childhood is very teachable, and parents have almost complete control of their environment. They see how dad treats mom and vice-versa. Children see how dad conducts himself and how mom carries on, and in both instances, it teaches a lifestyle of true masculinity and femininity. Many believe a child’s pattern of social behavior is established by age five so the adult model, in the home, is crucial. Realize there is no choice in providing sex education, only where it will come from. Parents need to be involved and know what is going on in their children’s lives. Keep parent-child communication lines open. There is no better way of catching and correcting erroneous ideas, which our world is full of today! Avoid sex education by “crisis” by anticipating the issues. As parents, you have “been there and done that.” Use your experiences to your advantage—be aware and observe—be one step ahead. Provide wholesome outlets—exercise and hobbies, for instance. Keep them busy and out of trouble. Teach and develop your children through doing, which will help define their roles as well as instill a greater and more true sense of self-confidence. Protect your children from wrong homosexual tendencies. The greatest platform of protection is the home and family. Finally, impart strong character in your child. Extensively, right character is learned by observing and emulating the actions and attitudes of involved parents. But don’t miss the precious teachable moments to show directly that there are physical and spiritual laws that govern every facet of our lives. We must all learn that lasting happiness and fulfillment in all of life, including sex, is the result of operating within those laws. Through word and deed, children must be convinced that breaking these laws will always hurt them, whether they get caught or not. Character also involves what you do when no one else is looking. Parents, teach your children that no matter how appealing the commercials make it look to ignore those laws for even a minute, it is far wiser to exercise self-discipline and choose the right way—every time! Successful character training depends on parents—not the village, government, books, commercials, or entertainment. The “buck” stops with parents!
But what if you don’t know how? What if you need help? The strongest argument for placing sex education in schools is the belief that parents are too stupid to do it themselves. Apparently, the parents have been written off as unteachable. Who is the true front line regarding sex education? It’s parents. Why are the schools disregarding parents? If the schools really want to help, why don’t they institute sex education programs for the parents? These are the real questions we need to be asking our administrators. Why not a whole series of adult workshops and study groups, or at least regular packets of sex education study materials sent home for parents? This is how schools could render far more effective service to our nation and the world, for that matter. They should be assisting the parents in developing their ability to instruct their own children. Home is the environment where the facts about sex should be properly taught within the context of the moral values of the family unit. Parents, nobody cares more for your children than you do!
This battle has been waged for decades and change may not come soon as a liberal agenda sets in. However, as the controversy continues to churn around this issue, we cannot, individually, sit back and ignore the de facto sex education bombarding our children every day. It’s high time we each apply these principles in our own families. We need to accept our full role in the character training and sex education of our children. As parents, we will be personally held accountable for the children we have been given. Will we attempt to excuse away a bad job, plead ignorance or shift the blame to the schools? Or will we accept our God-given responsibility for the greatest job in the world? Remember, in every sense, it’s your baby!
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